I learned as a salesperson that if I was not speaking to the decision-maker, I was probably not going to make the sale. Having someone else in the prospect company be my advocate, to represent me at decision time, meant that I was turning my fate over to someone else who, in most cases, had their best interests, not mine, at heart. I do not blame them for their approach; but I came to understand that once I lost control of the relationship, things seldom went my way. The easy path was not the path to success.
I have learned that the best thing I can do to manage a relationship is to go 1:1 with the person with whom the relationship exists. I will say up front that there are times when two people cannot manage the conversation by themselves, a third party — a friend or a therapist — can help bring the relationship back into alignment so that the long-term relationship is fixed and maintainable, and the need for the third party no longer exists.
In my 40+ years of consulting, selling and managing, I have seen dozens of companies and how they operate. In one recent case, I spoke with an employee of a well-known New England manufacturer of high-tech industrial equipment. I was stunned when I learned about the relationship between labor and management. The labor force is unionized, and the relationship is one of complete alienation, distrust, and outright aggression. My contact has to work with union employees that push the rules beyond the limits, only to be told by his management superiors that he must never let a union employee file a grievance. So he works as best he can to form personal relationships with those under him in a manner that tries to attain a win-win environment.
Experience has demonstrated to me that the vast majority of people come to work with a desire make a positive contribution so that when the day draws to a close, they can say, “I did a good job”, "I made a positive difference."
Where do things go wrong? I blame past management. I blame greed. I blame people who thought it was all about themselves, and lost their sense of human involvement in the people around them. And I blame people who decided to take the easy path. Before unions, alienation drove distrust, and things deteriorated. And so the union was born. It did not have to happen — had management taken a more human-centric, compassionate approach to the very people who they needed to make them successful, the relationships could have prospered. Instead, situations in the late 1900s and beyond, became increasingly toxic until there was sufficient antagonism to damage the relationships, and require a third party to adjudicate.
I have seen many companies and organizations where this is not the case. Where management does give a damn about their employees’ lives. Where workers are appreciated not just with pay, plaques, and parking spaces, but with genuine, honest thank yous — "Thank you for a job well done;" "You really did that well," "Thank you for coming to work today — you make a difference," "I noticed you went the extra mile to make things work better," “The work you are doing is very important,” Being appreciated is a small, but critical first step of a relationship; but there is still more hard work to be done to build and maintain strong, healthy, relationships.
My take is that UNH is nowhere near a toxic management-labor environment. We are not managed by perfect managers. As with all institutions, there are many brilliant people in positions of management because there is no one else to do it, and managing people may not be their best, highest calling. However, I have worked with enough people at all levels of management to know that they typically do give a damn about the people around them. Yes, there will always be bad managers, but they are not predominating, and a union cannot fix those people. Poor managers need to be confronted with a caring, professional, positive process — which HR constantly works to create and maintain — that will make them aware of their shortcomings and provide guidance and support to help them improve. In some cases, a person may need to be moved to another position where their skills and abilities can be better utilized.
We face day-to-day challenges that need day to day reconciliation — much like in a marriage. I admit to 38 years of a happy — but often hard-won — relationship with my wife. It is well worth it.
For me, the questions are: What is broken? Can a union fix it? Can we fix it without signing away $375 a year, every year, until we leave UNH? If we have well-meaning, i.e., not mean-spirited, managers, can we not work out our relationships? Just how "bad" is it? Are things "OK," "Good?" What would "better" look like? Can a union make “better” happen?
We need to accept the fact that there will never be enough money to “solve” all of our problems. UNH is besieged with a hostile legislature and fierce competition from other excellent higher education Institutions. $375 ($31 a month) is, for me, on the one hand, a lot of money to put out for what I see as a situation that is not “bad.” On the other hand, if I am going to yield the wellbeing of my livelihood into someone else's hands for the balance of my employment at UNH, it represents a phenomenal decision that I will not be willing to make. The easy path may appear to be, "let someone else do this for me/us." I am unwilling to yield control to someone else, and lose the most important sale of my life — the safe guarding of my family's livelihood.
Unfortunately, there are places where unions are necessary. I believe that UNH is not one of them.
—George Cookman
Senior Project Manager, UNH IT Project Management Office
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