What it means to be a HuMan
An effeminate male student makes a speech in a class and a few men in the back of the room quietly laugh and snicker. Another student does a class presentation on gay men and asks her peers to say slang words associated with gay people. Throughout the exercise, an out gay man in the class becomes visibly uncomfortable. A few of his (homophobic) peers share their feelings under their breath and loudly proclaim, "faggot" in response to the presenters question. A young man is coming home from a party and is verbally and physically assaulted by other men because they perceive him to be gay.
I am ready for an end to the nonsense we call homophobia. It is ugly, useless and completely counterproductive to our individual and collective social and emotional evolution. Young people who are just coming to know themselves as Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgender people should be revered. What courage and determination it takes to say, "I am me" when me is considered with such disdain by some others. Restricted gender expression, especially for men, is at the root of homophobia. Through the ugly lens of homophobia, effeminate men, whether they are gay or not, threaten the masculine ideal. Men so often learn restrictive and limiting ideas of what it means to be fully human in their maleness. Then, when any kind of behavior that is expressed by other men is outside the male "straight"-jacket, it's seen as a threat to the dominant masculine identity. Sadly, we all pay the price, in our lost humanity for each other.
I rejoice in the man who cries; the man who openly and with regularity says "I love you;" the man who generously offers a warm hug (especially to another man); the man who actively listens and openly comforts others; the man who willingly admits mistakes; the man who stands up for what he believes in; the man who understands that vulnerability is courageous; the man who is OK with people thinking he's gay even when he's not; the man who loves and respects women; the man who knows he has something to learn from gay men, the man who will not tolerate words like sissy and faggot because he knows how ugly, useless and counterproductive they are.
Peter Welch
Wellness Educator/Counselor
Health Services
Back to Men's Health
Back to Sexual Health
Back to Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity and Expression
