Men: Feel Free to Ask
Until recently there has been little written about the "peculiar situation of the American male." There really is a "male condition" brought on by trying to live up to the Great American Male Stereotype (GAMS) which portrays men as being in control, being independent, and not needing help. Men are faced with a lot of expectations today, both traditional and new, and with pressures to meet all of these expectations. The result can be much conflict and confusion. Yet we as men have often been conditioned not to feel and not to ask for help. We often don't want to admit to ourselves that we have any needs or problems. When we as men are unable to confront our feelings of anxiety and confusion, anger or rage often gets expressed instead, or sometimes depression is the result. In relationships, the GAMS often gets played out by an inability to let our guard down or get close.
The GAMS often prevents UNH men from seeking counseling services and it can contribute to discomfort when in counseling. Young men caught up in the cultural stereotype are especially likely to see it as "unmanly" to seek help when they feel sick or are in emotional pain. Paradoxically, we believe it takes courage to openly and honestly confront emotional conflicts. It is much more "manly" to be assertive and ask for help which is available here at UNH, and easily found at the Counseling Center, Health Services and other offices. Being willing to confront your own issues is a sign of strength, not weakness, and in the end it is much more rewarding to live closely with your own emotional life.
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